Plague Doctor
by N. D. Tr. Mind
Summary: Considering the fact, that I appear to be a self-insert, I can only assume that my journal entries are being read by some people in another dimension. In that case: Stop reading my journal! There is nothing interesting here! If I have to live here I won't follow your expectations! I am gonna follow my old dream and be a doctor. Nothing more, nothing else. Honest. SI/OC
1. Entry 1 - Introductions

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim ownership on any fiction portrayed or mentioned in this fanfiction, including, but not limited to RWBY.**

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 ** _Chapter 1: Entry 1 -_ Introduction**

I am going for a walk. Well, more like I was going for a walk. I did not know whether I noticed it before or after the dog sized scorpion. Honestly, for someone who considers himself a rather observant fellow, not noticing the fact that I am in a completely different forest with bigger trees, bigger plant life and apparently bigger fauna too is really embarrassing. Of course this wasn't what I thought at the moment. Not noticing the change in scenery can be attributed to the probably flowing change from one forest to another that occurred. Not noticing the dog sized scorpion barrelling toward me would have been decidedly deadly. Luckily I didn't.

Alright, this looks like the perfect moment for a recap. I, a random guy, managed to find the most vibrant part of the forest and subsequently got myself attacked by a hitherto unknown species of land lobster. Plus poison tail. Might be wise not to forget that bit. Logically I survived, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this and adding lots of… everything to make this at least somewhat readable. I assure you, it actually went along the lines of this: Me walk. Forest change. Me obvious. Me see scorpion. Me stop. Scorpion see me. Me turn. Me run. Me scream.

I turned, ran and screamed. Veni, vidi, vici my ass. Eat your heart out Caesar ´cause I won. Yes, I won. Not through an epic battle or with the help of an unknown power I just realised was sleeping inside of me ever since birth. No, my first stroke of panicking genius was climbing up a nearby tree. Dogs can't climb trees, so one could assume that the land lobster, being of similar size, won't also be. Sure, insects -sorry arachnids- are well known for reaching just about every surface, but my adrenaline addled brain somehow still concluded that physics would work against a bug -arachnid- of that size.

In his defence, my brain is usually more reliably than that, especially if on were to be aware of the fact, that bears bigger than the five star menu of doom climbed bigger trees in good old Siberia. I learned one thing from the internet and in my time of need it did not come to me. Let this be a lesson to everyone involved: You might learn sometimes something, but just like TV, its gonna drill holes into your brain. Now, if you didn't manage to deduce what happened by reading my snarky off tangent thoughts, let me enlighten you: The damn thing started climbing the damn tree.

Still, I did call it a stroke of luck for having the higher ground, didn't I? Now Lobster, as that abomination of nature is going to be referred to from now on, was obviously not made to climb trees. Not only was it difficult for him -assumed gender- to get his stubby little feet on the bark, resulting in the rather funny view of a giant scorpion bashing his head against a tree. Being stupid, yet not dumb, sadly meant that in the end Lobster figured out that going sideways helped in grasping the bark with his feet. However I nevertheless got a much needed reprieve, which I invested into gathering my thoughts and trying to find a way out of this.

Now, I ignored the giant scorpion trying to kill me, I ignored the extremely vibrant plants around me, noticing them only now. I also ignored my silent thoughts on how I did not recognized the surroundings nor did I give any attention towards the fact that these trees wore a thick canopy in spite of February being its usual self last I checked. Having taken note of all the things I ignored I finally returned my undivided attention to Lobster. Who has already figured out how to climb trees with eight legs and was slowly approaching. Racing thoughts don't always give results. You may consider this a warning. There are people, who can deal with sudden changes of their situation, however even they would be high pressed to sort out mine. At least that's what I keep telling myself. In all honesty, I am not proud to admit that I drew a blank while sitting in the tree. Thus I was doubtlessly relived when my second stroke of luck followed my first.

Remember the probably poisonous tail? I did. Lobster did too. Barely avoiding being stung, I huddled back as far as I dared on branches thinner than I would like them to be and kept constant watch of the stinger embedded in the bark before me. I kicked it. More of a stomp, really. Yet still one of the more or less thoughtless actions made by me today. The result of this one? The stinger got stuck in the wood. Having Lobster distracted by his ridiculous anatomy failing, I finally snapped out of my funk and with a final stomp on the stinger, that actually managed to at least break the outside chitin layer, I turned around, jumped of the tree and proceeded to finish my involuntary cardio run.

Sadly I didn't come far.

While my humble self is indeed capable of running an extended amount of time over uneven and partly difficult terrain, especially when under duress, I wasn't able to completely escape from my predator. Obviously, to claim that I simply tripped would be absolutely untrue to the correct happenstances, yet for lack of patience to write out the actual events and leaning writing paper I am forced to simply skip to the result of this peculiar episode that sent me airborne over the bushes. Having been propelled by Lobster smashing into my back, it could be counted as a small miracle that I only suffered some scratches and brushes.

Bravely I ignored the dust in my eyes and proceeded to roll, quiet involuntarily in fact, a small hill down. Somehow evading every single tree in my path I managed to make my escape even more humorous and cliché by landing in a small, but deep and fast, river. Luckily there was no waterfall. Nonetheless I was glad that I haven't mysteriously lost my aptitude for swimming. Keeping myself afloat on the water I let the current carry me away, all the while eyeing my surroundings in search for my adversary through panic filled eyes.

The water gave me a much needed break. It always helps me to calm down, no matter whether it is the ocean or a bathtub. Being carried away at a semi-constant speed and seeing no Killer-Bugs jumping out of the bushes dotting the shore helped in calming my heart. For the first time since my fateful meeting with Land Lobster I was able to honestly think about my situation. Considering resent events I came to the following conclusion: Something happened. Something that goes beyond me coming across an oversized scorpion.

Yet I couldn't connect the dots. My situation was way too bizarre to recognize any pattern, any similarity to other things. Being assaulted by Chinese finger food "Family Edition" came entirely out of the left field.

Putting thoughts of figuring this out aside, I concentrated on considering my next step.

Leaving the river would be a bad idea since Lobster might have friends and family.

Staying in the river would not be optimal either. While the river was indeed carrying me out of hostile territory, I do not know where I am being carried. Of course there are often settlements near flowing water ever since the middle ages, so I might get lucky and come across one before I suffer hypothermia by being wet too long.

Incidentally the choice was taken away from me after a few minutes by a beaver dam behind the next river curve, suitably super-sized to fit into my bigger than normal surroundings.

Since potentially meeting Lobster the Greater was not a potential but a clear "NO" I proceeded to climb the rather big dam in the hopes of continuing my long distance swim on the other side. Scrambling over piece after piece of logs and branches I barely managed to come halfway up before I collapsed in momentary exhaustion. It truly is a testament to the pure shock and adrenalin coursing through my veins, that I managed to come this far at all. Alas, my twinkling of peace had to be disturbed by a source most unwelcome.

Guess who?

That's right boys and girls and apache attack-helicopter, Land Lobster is in the house. Well, more like on the house, considering that he was directly above me on top of the beaver dam. Seeing as he graciously decided to announce his presence by…roaring?...screeching?...it sounded like a screech but it was way to deep to be even remotely considered one. Anyway, that sound was the last thing I heard before I hit the water. No way was I staying anywhere near that monster.

You might think that I landed in the water ready to swim away. This wasn't what happened. Instead the current brought my still underwater body underneath the beaver dam. It turned out, that the entrance to the beaver home was located exactly there. Still exhausted, I flailed in the water till I grabbed something I could use to heave me out. Only then, as I blankly stared at my dim surroundings did the penny drop and I realized that this must be the inside of the beaver dam.

The second thing I realized was the silence.

The dam was, as I surely already mentioned, big. The fact that some light came through the logs and at least provided a dim shine was already astonishing. Not to mention that I fitted through the entrance in the first place. However, the dam wasn't big enough to block out all of the sounds. If I listened carefully I could hear birds chirping and water rushing by. Not a peep from my newest stalker. Did it leave? Is it lying in wait for me to leave this safehouse? Can it swim? If not, is it trying to reach me trough the walls by pushing past the logs? No, I would hear it if it did.

I was scared. Scared of even moving a bit, lest I woke the beast my mind portrayed in every corner of the round wooden cave I am hidden in. Till now I acted reactionary. I didn't think much, I simply did. Even now as I write this down I struggle to remember details about this little unwilling adventure of mine. Of course there is one thing I do remember: Do not rest completely motionless in a semi-comfortable position if you don't want to fall asleep during your vigil.

Especially when there are monsters nearby.

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 **A.N.: Location? Unknown. Time? Now isn't that the question... Any guesses?**

 **By the way is the format alright? First time posting here. Any other suggestions?**


	2. Entry 2 - Just a man and his will

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim ownership on any fiction portrayed or mentioned in this fanfiction, including, but not limited to RWBY.**

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 _ **Chapter 2: Entry 2 –**_ **Just a man and his will to survive**

I woke.

Not a pleasant experience if you ask me. Naturally it wasn't how I usually wake up if I bother to write it down. It all started slowly, with me waking from a surprisingly refreshing night in Lala-Land and gradually coming to terms with my unexpected surroundings and seemingly less comfortable bed. Evidently that was the perfect moment for my mind to dumb my memories of recent events into the forefront of my conscience. Simply saying "shock" would not suffice to describe my reaction and I do not claim such because I reacted in any worse way.

No, I definitely felt shock, but it wasn't the kind you feel when surprised or when confronted with something horrifying. It was a kind of cold pressure gripping and grabbling inside your chest. Chasing that frightened bunny that is your heart. It felt like a heart attack if I were to imagine how a heart attack feels like. But I knew it wasn't, because I was ready, more so than I ever was, to simply run and never look back. Yet that horrifying grip kept me there. Waiting, like a small animal before a bigger predator, I looked slowly, almost not even daring to, around.

Hoping that whatever being, that might be standing there vigil, would not notice me if I remained quit, I slowly rotated my head and coiled my legs in case of emergency.

Nothing.

I imagine I must have made a rather funny view, dumbly staring at the wooden wall in front of me. Although one could forgive my small lapse if my current situation were to be considered.

Without a doubt I could be excused for immediately leaving my safe abode in order to…well…go home.

It was sunrise when I emerged from the entrance to the beaver dam and most likely the reason I woke up. After all the dam did let some light through. Obviously my first order of business was to retrace my path of the previous day and find the forest track I was happily hiking along yesterday before Land Lobster ambushed me with his nefarious plan of probably eating me alive.

Speaking of ambushes, I might be walking (swimming) into one right now.

Luckily I did not notice anything amiss with my eagle eyes when I finally reached the shore. Walking along the river I made sure to remember where I found my new hideout. It was simple Survival 101. A truly fortuitous day shined down on me, for I did not meet any abominations on my whole journey. Said excursion might also take some time since I ran and swam quiet a bit yesterday, yet I was sure to find the way in time.

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The actually smart reader must have realized by now that I didn't find the way. Truly, I won't bother with the details of my search but to say, for those rather dim-witted individuals among you, that I could not find even a landmark I might have been able to orient myself on. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this journal now, would I? Even so I kept pursuing the slightest idea on where I could be and in the end I felt like I have walked in just about any direction one could imagine.

So there I was, sitting on a big rock on the shore of a river that, for all intend and purpose, shouldn't be there in the first place and feeling rightly weirded out. A rather curious feeling that would border on panic if I did not remember that I possess such a strange device known as a phone. Really, I am still surprised I didn't think of it earlier. Understandably I immediately reached for my phone in my right pocket, only to realize, that not only my phone but also my trousers were absent. Instead I was wearing plain and unknown black trousers and matching shoes.

Cue panic, my new friend, settling in with the subtlety of a cannon and the tact of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Yes, the one with the battery of cannons. Always wanted to play that instrument. What? It is one.

Swiftly I grabbed a fistful of whatever was on my torso, which turned out to be a plain white dress-shirt, wet from my recent dip. Rapidly turning in a circle I made a poor attempt in looking everywhere at once. I honestly do not remember much else that came immediately afterward. I recall a feeling of sickness washing over me accompanied by a coldness and tiredness that would have surprised me in any other occasion. Realizing my predicament I probably got the idea that water might help, which would explain why the next think I can recollect, was me kneeling in front of the water looking at its surface.

Its reflective surface.

A reflective surface that did not show my face.

Instead, a stranger was owlishly blinking at me.

I feel pretty embarrassed to admit it, but I am pretty sure that I blacked out there. Whatever it was, I became completely unresponsive to the outside world, at least that's what I think happened. Recalling anything feels rather uncomfortable and what little I do remember doesn't exactly help. As such I shall skip this part and resume my story where my memories are less impaired.

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My hands were flitting across my entire head. Truly, on of the first reactions when confronted with something one doesn't believe to be true. It is astonishing how easy a person accepts something as fact as long as they can see and touch said fact. Ironically enough I decided to fall out of line and did not belief what I saw. I could not. How exactly could I be ever expected to belief that my very being, something so basic to oneself that it is more or less unnoticeable during day to day activity, has changed to such a degree that I should have noticed at least something!

At this point I would like to note, that from an outside perspective it might have been obvious that I have been self-inserted, yet I still could not make heads or tail of this all. Even now, as I write this in the sanctity of Rieden, I struggle to fully wrap my head around the fact that such a fantastic and improbable thing actually happened to me. I assure you, dear hypothetical reader, that I found out about my unique situation, which might not be as unique if one ponders the sheer amount of SI among all of the fanfiction in the world, in a timely manner before I could make a fool out of myself or worse, land yours truly in a padded cell.

However, lets not dwell on the current present and concentrate again on the past. Without further ado I shall give a basic description of my physical features in order to highlight the reasons for my anxious behaviour.

My hair was strange. Brown strands of hair shared headspace with black counterparts. No amount of messing with them removed whatever dirt I first suspected to be there. It wasn't like some sort of colouring, no, my hair was either an average brown or a pitch black without middle-ground. Even stranger was the way it was arranged on my head. It funnily enough reminded, still does, of a young deer. The top of my head was full of differently sized and formed spots of black hair with the number of them lessening the farther you go down the sides, front or back of my head.

Luckily it was still semi-short. Well, not short mind you, but also not overly long. Before…whatever happened…I kept my hair just about short enough, not to spill over my ears and that's it. Not the tidiest of hairstyles through what would you expect from someone whose life story presumably appears on a fanfiction site in a parallel world. I need a proper hobby. Being a computer science student is definitely not one.

Other than my hair I looked surprisingly (and why did it surprise me?) normal like I should be. Caucasian looks, green-grey eyes, although the green appears deeper and the grey rather light. I even retained my slight tan that I better mention here before someone believes me to be a walking corpse. Besides that I lacked any noticeable mark on my body. Before my self-description devolves into narcissism and I start spewing metaphors concerning the shape of my left toe, let me wrap this up: I am suffering a shortage of eye-catching features because I haven't developed them yet.

I looked like a kid no older than around thirteen.

Hello panic my old friend. How nice of you to come again.

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Obviously I needed a fire. After all I was still a bit wet despite the summer-y weather doing its thing. It was afternoon. At some point I fell asleep. I am assuming it was somewhere between half-heartingly cursing out fate, karma or Cthulhu and starting to give my frustration physical value in the form of tears. I honestly don't know when what happened and I don't want to remember, not even for whoever is reading this. Especially not for you creeps!

Anyway, fire. Fire, Water, a hiding hole and food, in that order, are essential.

So…the question is, how did I achieve fire? Simply put, I pulled a Prometheus and I am not talking about the Prometheus' School of Running from Things™ **[1]**. Mythology lesson inbound! According to some old Greek dude, probably either Homer, Plato or the famous Herodot of Harikarnas (or something), through I think Homer was a Roman…anyway, Prometheus took an oily stick and went close to the sun making the thing burn. Thus fire was invented. Huzzah.

Since I suffer a distinctive lack of flying capabilities, I needed to divine a suitable alternative to solve my predicament. My idea was the following:

1\. Find a dry stick

2\. Find some oily plant

3\. Make the stick oily

4\. Wait till its dry

5\. Do the whole stick on dry board routine with some fuss found in my (hopefully) then dry clothes

6\. Hope

7\. Pray

A nice seven steps. What could possibly go wrong?

Of course, it actually worked. My genius knowns no bounds! It was incredibly easy for an advanced specimen like me to quickly (not) find both the dry stick and an oily plant. Afterwards oily-fying the stick became a fast (not) and clean (not) matter. Obviously (not) my clothes dried out by the time the stick did. After few (many) attempts I managed to light a small flame through seemingly sheer hopefulness (-lessness) and accomplished (certainly not) to keep it alive. In short, I somehow achieved the creation of a small bonfire.

Next would be water, which was without a doubt a lot easier to manage. Having concerns about the purity of the water, I only needed to stare at the river for a little while to see an actual lobster, the kind that lives in rivers, scurrying across the riverbed. Luckily I was aware of the fact that these cute little creatures only appeared in the purest of water, making the river most likely safe to drink for now. Looking a bit downstream I saw my castle of wood and immediately ticked both water and sleeping place of my mental list.

Did I mention that by now I have worked up quit an appetite, making a perfect, if underappreciated, reminder of the fourth necessity: FOOD.

I took even my amazing intellect to come up with something.

Walking along the river-shore at a leisure pace I found fortune smiling upon me by discovering tracks near the river. Being not the most savvy trapper on the block, I wasn't exactly sure on how to proceed. So I decided to act on logic (for once).

Animals tend to return to a source of water in a regular interval and making their safe water spot "unsafe" might scare them away permanently. Luckily I did not intend to stay here for long.

Still, my smell might have scared away dinner, so I felt – still do – absolutely no shame bathing in mud in order to mask it.

I shall spare you the details of digging a hole and covering it with medium to small branches and leaves.

Of course, being in possession of such an ginormous intellect, I passed the time by making sure the glowy bits of the fire (or its corpse apparently) will survive till morrow by choking them with the ashy stuff. Supposedly it isolates. Afterwards I got the great idea of spear fishing and ended up sitting uncomfortably on my toes while holding a broken branch and staring at the whirling tides.

Considering I lied in wait on old wood at the edge of the beaver dam, it could be regarded as a small miracle that I – again – fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up – again.

Yet this time it was not due to light, but the lack thereof.

A shadow was looming over me and I almost didn't want to open my eyes in childish defiance.

I still did tho.

Was it a friend? Was it an enemy? No, it was an island!

A flying island.

Toto, you know the drill. Panic, drop the beat. Hysteria, how nice of you to visit.

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 **[1]: CinemaSins. Watch their YouTube Channel. They are funny.**

 **A.N.: It has come to my attention, that the common man is dissatisfied with the lenght of my exquisite chapters.**

 **I would like to notify you plebs, that I shall gradually increase the amount of words per chapter as I go. Let it be clear for those unaware of true art, that the small chapters represent the protagonists inability to write a proper journal due to never having done such before. It serves as a sign of inexperience for the reader.**

 **Also, I am certainly not making this up as I go.**

 **Nonetheless, true art cannot be rushed and as an upstanding member of society I possess responsebilities that you probably don't.**

 **Of course, as is proper, you shall leave a review of praise in order to compel me to release a new masterpiece earlier.**

 **You guys also haven't guessed WHEN this story plays out.**

 **Oh! gerome945?**

 **Thank you.**


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